Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize