i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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