I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize