We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
