Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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