He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize
