how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I made him laugh his dick is mine
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
