btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
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You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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