All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I cut my penus on the lid.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
