belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
