Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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