I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize