My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I need to calm my uterus...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
