I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
