remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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