Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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