I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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