first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
