Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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