do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
