She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
