If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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