he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
