yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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