You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
