allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
