It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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