yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
