i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
