You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
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