Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
false alarm. still invincible.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
