Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
