friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
