great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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