the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
please come you make the beer taste better
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
