that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
