I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize