we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
