i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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