guys are not supposed to queef...right?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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