Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
