in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
