she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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