Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
This toilet bowl is my home.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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