ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize