After last night, I could never be a politician.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Someone came in the potted fern
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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