I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Please, let me fuck your mom
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
