im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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