Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
