Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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