Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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