She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
he fucked my hip out of place.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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