I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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