I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she told me i tasted like america
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
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