he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
